Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Janet, I could not be fooling you less

In life, I have two things: (1) a woman and (2) a pizza stone. A few days ago, I decided to introduce the two things to each other.
And then blog about it.

This is what I looked like. I looked this way because when Lisa came over, she woke me up from a nap. A fellow needs to sleep. He also needs to wear Hawaiian shirts.

These are a few of the role players.

This here is the star player, the Larry Bird of my making pizza for Lisa.

This little fella is Lisa's pizza. She believes in a gluten-free lifestyle, so I bought some pre-made gluten-free crusts from the grocer in my neighborhood, Harmons. I packed it with olives and mushrooms, because apparently Lisa also believes in a meat-free pizza lifestyle.

When you make pizza, you have to cook it in an oven, like so:

While that cooks, I will make my pizza. This time the crust isn't pre-made, although, it is just one of those just-add-water deals. I'm starting easy and working my way up to making my own crust. That will probably happen soon because the just-add-waters are kind of gross.

"Here is your pizza, Lisa."
"Thanks, Giant."

And here is my pizza. If you are the observant type, you might be asking-slash-thinking, where is the pizza stone, man? Well, I will tell you.

So, when making pizza on a stone, one is supposed to roll out the dough on a cookie sheet or something of that ilk. First, one must dust the cookie sheet with corn meal to avoid sticking. I do this, but while shaping the dough into pizza-shape, the corn meal gets pushed to the outside edges of the pizza. This causes the pizza to stick to the cookie sheet. I tried to slide it onto the pizza stone, and even asked Lisa for her expert help, but nothing doing. There was no way to maintain the integrity of the pizza and cook it on the Stone. Being a man of integrity, I decided to just cook it on the cookie sheet and consider better options for the next time.

After the pizza, Lisa and I watched Singles. The cool part about it was this guy was in it:



Betsy said...

Singles is such a good movie.

Ems said...

Lee I need more posts like this in my life please.

lisa said...

I swear that even though you can't tell from the pictures, I was there too, and I really enjoyed my gluten-free pizza.

Laurie said...

Singles was my favorite movie all throughout my teen years. I probably watched it a thousand times. I tried to get my husband to watch it once, just ONCE, and he passed out halfway through.

Also, Lisa is gluten-free? We need to talk! I have *major* gluten sensitivities that I didn't even know about until recently. I'm glad you said something... Ima email her soon.

nathaniel said...

are there other kinds of corn meal? like for example the kind you DON'T avoid?

Lee said...

Good catch, Nathaniel.

For the record, never avoid corn meal.

Singles had some dumb parts, but it was a fun watch.

Lee said...

"Are my breasts too small for you?"


Amy and Brad said...

Valiant effort with the pizza, Lee. I'm sure it still tasted great. I have a pizza stone I've never really fully figured out, so if you become an expert, please enlighten me. In the meantime, you might want to try something like this:

I have one that is similar and it is great! We'll talk...

marshall p said...

ok. apparently it is my job to solve all the problems in your family's life (see my explanation of lisa's tomato problem).

1. you need to season your pizza stone with olive oil so stuff doesn't stick. you can do this by rubbing it all over with olive oil before you cook your next pizza. the stone will turn dark, but it will look cool. also, once you've seasoned it, never wash it with soap. just rinse it with water and pat it dry.

2. roll out your pizza dough on a piece of waxed paper. then sprinkle the cornmeal on top of the pizza stone and flip your pizza dough off the wax paper onto the stone. then assemble your ingredients.

3. maybe you guys should just call me when these questions arise...

Lee said...

Interesting device, Amy and Brad. It might defeat the purpose of The Stone, though. I'll have to look at it when I have more time, though.

Marsha, who knew that you knew so much about everything? Here's my question: I don't have a problem with the pizza sticking to my stone, should I still "season" it.

bex said...

more pictures of lisa next time, please. but do not decrease the pictures of pizza either.

judy said...

you should see how seasoned my stone is by now. It's a champion.

marshall p said...

yeah, I think so. I believe in seasoning.

I was gonna say from this post it makes it seem like "lisa" is more your imaginary girlfriend than anything else, but I thought that might be mean.

I don't know!

becky said...

"you should see how seasoned my stone is by now"

that's what she said

Lee said...

How about I just make this whole blog about Lisa?

Lee said...

I'll call it You Know How Lisa Do.