I put people on the map who've never seen a map

This vacation starts in a few minutes.

Tag-team championship

Girlfriends make-out and tag with you. This leaves me with an obligation to respond to her tag. (so she'll keep making out with me)


Jobs I've held...
1. Bagger/stocker/checker at Dan's Foods.
2. Receiving dock at ZCMI. This one dude we called Portly Steve was the assistant magager and he always had it out for us. Luckily, we knew which direction the cameras were pointing and we hung out where the Man couldn't see us. I have never played so much solitaire or ordered so much pizza.
3. Delivery driver for a concrete supply company. One of my bosses thought I didn't like the people I delivered to because I was Mormon and couldn't talk to them. Wrong. I didn't like them because their jokes about p___y weren't funny.
4. golf shoe salesman. It's pretty cool.

Movies I can watch over and over...
1. N
2. o
3. n
4. e
5. maybe

My Guilty Pleasures...
1. Reality TV
2. Internet message boards
3. Scratching my nuts
4. Chinese buffets

TV Shows I enjoy...
1. 24
2. Acceptable TV
3. Simpsons
4. Entourage

Places I have been on vacation...
1. Seattle, Washington (again in two weeks)
2. Washington DC/Baltimore/Detroit/Chicago/St. Louis
3. Island Park
4. South California

Favorite foods...
1. Pizza
2. doughnuts
3. stuff without onions
4. chinese buffet food

Awards I have won
1. Trophies for just playing
2. My competition soccer team won first place and we got a huge trophy for it.
3. A Christmas picture contest that got painted on the window of Jack in the Box back in second grade. They pretty much told me it is because they already had enough pictures of Rudolph painted on the windows. My picture was of Jesus (not really, it was Santa Claus).


Hobbies I enjoy...
1. watching tv
2. discussing sports
3. writing
4. swearing

Secretly, I wish I could....
1. Host a late-night talk show
2. drop 30 lbs
3. win a lottery or some s__t
4. be on Big Brother

A random thing about me...
I just barely started reading books again. In the last two years, I have read, "The Bad Guys Won", "The Outsiders", "Catcher in the Rye", and I am working on another.



Now it's my duty to "tag" people. I will have to tag the four people who actually read my blog. I hereby tag the following people:

1. Nathaniel
2. Jackie
3. Jefe
4. Sarah Jane in the City

Seen it?

My girlfriend is a fashionista. I think.
Lemonade Stand Vintage clothing

Beards are overrated anyway

When I am done shaving my face, the worst part of my day is over with.

I've always thought of music as more than words and sounds, something more like inspiration, it always comes and gets me off the ground

I mentioned in March that I went and saw Say Hi To your Mom (who are now calling themselves Say Hi), but that has hardly been my only live musical venture of the ohseven. Nay, not at all. In fact, I dare say that ohsev will go down as one of my most active live musical years to date. See, I don't absolutely love with hearts live music. I'm fine with it, but I will never marry it.

This year, though (2007, for those keeping score), there have been some good show options. There was Mos Def at the University of Utah in April - see above for proof - which happened a day later than it was supposed to and then an hour later after that, but it was pretty good. You know Mos Def, he's the fellow who is scared of dogs in the Italian Job starring Mark Wahlberg. He's the fellow who messed (unneccessarily, I might add) with his voice and starred with Bruce Willis in 16 Blocks. He's the rapper who the hip hop world as been ready to give the hip-hop crown to a few times, but each time he has shied away from it, leaving Jay-Z to claim the crown through no other means that by verbally claiming it. Don't get me wrong, Jay-Z is really good. Just listen to the Black Album ("Dirt Off Your Shoulders" is on of my favorite tracks of all time). But don't listen to that one set of albums that had three volumes - not that great.



In June, there was Sage Francis. Lisa writes more about it somewhere else and I won't add much, except to say that he completely owned the crowd. I don't know if i have seen it to that extent since I listened to hardcore in the late 1990s.

July the 19 brought a free Yo La Tengo show at the Gallivan Center. What a great thing that figured to be: one of my absolute favorites for free. Unfortunately, it didn't live up to the greatness I had expected, and not because of Yo La Tengo. They did a good job of picking my favorite songs to play (Sugarcube, Stockhold Syndrome to name two). It was because of the type of crowd that shows up for a free show at an outdoor venue in the middle of downtown. I wrote this on spockwithabeard:

There is way too many people and only a small percentage seem to even care about the music. Most people are just there to drink and show cleavage.

It's such an astute observation by me. You could hear the wave of casual conversation as much as you could hear the band, even when I was towards the front and in the center.

But there is so much more in store. Labor Day weekend, I will be attending Bumbershoot. Seriously, I have my ticket to the festival and the plane. Three full days of tunes and stuff. Plus, there will some filthy times with Nathaniel.

Anyways, I hope Cindy doesn't can me. Let the record show that if she does, things will be awkward when she moves to Utah.

Goodbye, Farfour

Is it okay if I think this is one of the funniest things to happen in my life?

My Thursday, my America

Thursday was my day off and this is how it went down:
- Woke at 9 a.m.
- Read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius for about two hours.
- Went to breakfast at The Original Pancake House with Roommate Jefe where I had bacon pancakes and a glass of chocolate milk.
- Watched two Robert De Niro movies. 15 Minutes when I got home from breakfast and Bang the Drum Slowly before I went to bed. He dies in both.
- Watched the pilot episode of Weeds.
- Put my season pass to Lagoon to good use with Lisa. Experienced Wicked for the first time.
- Ate at Wingers (yes, with Lisa. She was so starved that she was fine with it).

"Why the blow-by-blow?" you might be inclined to ask. Well, this was a perfect example of a day of Professional Leisure. What is professional leisure? Look here.

Keep looking. It's our new blog.

If you need to find me this summer....

I got my Lagoon season pass yesterday. This should be the best summer of my life.

They're Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Show them you're a tiger
Show them what you can do
The taste of [Kellogg's or Tony's] Frosted Flakes
Brings out the tiger in you
....AND YOU!

Hammer don't play that

According to Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story:
- MC Hammer and the owner of the Oakland A's were tight friends.
- MC Hammer used to rap while preaching. His wife told him he should start making music if that is what he wants to do most.
- MC Hammer recorded his first album in what looked like a wet suit.
- MC Hammer, while a bat boy for the aforementioned A's, said God told him he was going to be big-time during a three-run homer.
- MC Hammer was with Tupac the night he got shot, but sensed something sinister and decided to stay in for the night. Hammer could've been hurt that night.
- MC Hammer recorded a song that repeatedly said, "We like girls with pumps and a bump, pumps and a bump, pumps and a bump!"
- During the video for the song mentioned above, MC Hammer was wearing a speedo.
- Said video was recorded at MC Hammer's house.

Don't go see Year of the Dog

I saw Year of the Dog last night and I still don't know what the hell.

This is the second time I've come to this part of town without my nunchucks

Dear readers, haters, and betsys-

Remember that little stretch in December/earlyJanuary where I didn't post many blogs? Well, it was on account of me not being in school. We are, together (forever), about to embark on what could be a similar, albeit longer, stretch. One of the downfalls - the only downfall as far as I'm concerned - of summer vacation is a lack of access to the I (my pet name for the Internet).

Don't give up hope, though. I plan to purchase me a computer sometime soon. I'm pretty rich these days. When/if that happens, so will blogs. In fact, it could yield more blogs than ever before.

So, continue to talk bad about what has become of this blog. I don't mind. Just know that your protests won't force much change. They won't fall on deaf ears, because I will probably enjoy them, but I can only do what is possible.

I love you. Do you love me? Let's talk more.

Sincerely,

sugarcube

Why I'll pass on the strawberry shortcake, 25 words or less

I don't like strawberries or whip cream, and why would I eat cake without frosting?

This is what domestic disputes look like

This happened a few blocks away from my work, so I took a picture with my new phone on my way to school. I think it's pretty awesome, you should check it out. I heard it had to do with a domestic dispute, but the story says the motive is not yet known.

(click on the picture to see a larger version)

I value you, but I want to violate you.

Don't stop reminding me that you were linked to my blog before I messed crud up or letting me know that you would like to be linked.

So, I got a new cellular phone the other day. It isn't brand new, per se, but it is new to me. You see, I had a Nokia (hardcore phones), but some of the major buttons weren't working (the 3, the 5, the space) up to their maximum capacity. I shared my dismays with the general public and I got someone's old RAZR out of it. This means that for once in my life, I have a camera phone. I know you might be sick of me posting pictures of myself, but I'm still enjoying posting pictures of myself, so here are some more:

(This was the first picture I ever took with my new phone)

Don't stop reminding me that you were linked to my blog before I messed crud up or letting me know that you would like to be linked.

Problem solving skills

I was just fooling around and changed my template, and apparently that means that you lose all of your links. So, I need to be reminded of whose blogs I was linked to. Please respond by saying, "I."

Or, hope that I can find your blog by other means.

A photo journey: Mexico? No, Seattle

A few weeks ago, Lisa (No Doy, Professional Leisure Magazine) and I hit the road to see our beloved Nathaniel J. and CindyMindyPindy F. in Seattle. Here is our trip, in picture form. I'm sure you will find it as inspiring as it is long.
(captions correspond to photo beneath them)

The road to Seattle is long and merciless, so music is needed. Here's me trying to figure out why my version of TLC's "No Scrubs" doesn't have T-Boz's rap. (I have since purchased the rap version ["Let me give you something to think about. Inundate your mind with intentions to turn you out."])

The sun was shining on April the 4, so we needed our shades.
And we needed to look rad.

When we finally made it, I wanted to see how I looked with Seattle.
Look how cute and chubby I've become.

Nathaniel is shocked at how that car was able to drive straight through us. I was kind of mad it even tried.

Mullets are not funny. They are pretty.

After a morning of sleeping in, Lisa introduced me to The Dish. We each took time to have a photo shoot there. Photo's take by me.
Lisa's: (the following is the look I get everytime I say something stupid)

(the below inspired today's blog title)

Mine:

Then, we did close-ups.

After lunch, we drove by the famous Lusty Lady to see their latest genius marquee. I refuse to tell you what the words on the other side were.
Did you ever see that recurring bit on MadTV called "Lowered Expectations"?
This reminded me of it.Doing a drive-by of Jimi Hendrix and the Jr. Donnas

We eventually had to leave. Nathaniel decided to not get dressed up. Cindy did, and she even made us Easter treats, moving her up my personal social ladder.
My favorite thing about Seattle was the electronic 20 Questions game that Cindy had. One time I was thinking of poop and it guessed it.
I like it more than a friend.
Lisa got jealous and pretended to hate 20Q. She later reconciled and bought me my own for here in Utah.
We made sure to take about two hours to leave Seattle. First was a stop at Trader Joe's where I bought dried cranberries and saw some gross lady's crack. Then, we ate at the place Lisa used to go instead of going to seminary: Lil' Johns. I wanted to get more text messages during the drive home than Lisa, so I took the time that we were waiting for our food to send out messages to cool folks that said something like: "I hope your Easter is EGG-cellent." Most people didn't respond until late into the night.
Lisa freaked out while remembering how big Lil' John's pancakes are.
I looked her square in the eye and said (while simultaneously taking another self-portrait), "You can eat it. I believe in you."
You can understand her trepidation.
We finally made it home at 3 a.m., the last few hours were scary because I kept falling asleep. I also missed an exit while we were in Idaho.

60 years ago yesterday

George Will wrote this great article about the historical significance of Jackie Robinson.

I am a rock, but I am no island

The single greatest picture ever taken of me:



(taken last night by Lisa W., whose hotness is matched only by her niceness. This picture grosses her out.)

Welcome to my world, part 2

I was listening to the Nightside Project last night and they had this nutritional or something expert on. He said, "...bone or joints....", but at first it sounded like "..boner joints" to me.